Fun Time: Flying Etiquette: 10 Rules You Should Follow
If you do a lot of flying, you already know this: flying can be challenging. Not only do you have to arrive at the airport early, but you have to stand in a long line to get through airport security. And then you have to sit at your boarding gate for an hour or more, waiting for the announcement that your flight has been delayed. “Sorry, we’re having a software glitch,” the airline says. Eventually, the problem is fixed and you’re sitting on a plane. That’s when the real challenge begins—spending a few hours or more with hundreds of people, some of whom have no clue how to behave around other people.
Many people, unfortunately, have not been exposed to flying etiquette. That’s why, in the interest of public decorum, I’ve decided to compile a list of 10 rules everyone should follow.
- Use earphones or headphones. This rule applies even if you’re listening to Drake. Wait, this rule applies especially if you’re listening to Drake. The Canadian rapper and singer is very popular, but his music isn’t for everyone, which is why I keep reminding my daughter Divya to use earphones. It’s common courtesy to use earphones around other people, whether you enjoy listening to Drake or have good taste in music.
- Don’t introduce your feet to the passengers around you. You may be tall, but that doesn’t give you the right to put your foot on the armrest in front of you. Just the other day, someone on social media shared a photo of a foot that had appeared next to them on a flight and asked what they should do. The options, as it turns out, arenumerous, including:(1) sneezeonit;(2) tickle it; and (3) alert the flight attendant, so they can makeanannouncement: “Yourattentionplease. We have found a foot beside Seat 17E. If this is your foot, please come to Seat 17E to claim it. If you do not claim it within five minutes, we will have to remove it and store it in the overhead bin.”
- Don’t expose yourself to anyone. If you managed to get through the airport by keeping a part of your body covered, don’t think you are now free to expose it. (Feel free to take off your hat, but please keep your shoes on.)
- Don’t do too much touching. Touching strangers is always unwise, but getting too romantic with a partner can also make people uncomfortable. How are they supposed to focus on the movie they’re watching?
- Don’t clip your fingernails. Don’t clip your toenails either. In fact, don’t do any clipping whatsoever on a flight.
- Follow the arm rest rule: the person in the middle seat gets two arm rests, the person in the window seat gets the window, and the person in the aisle seat gets to the restroom faster.
- Take a shower or bath before your flight. It’s not always possible to do this, especially if you’ve been stuck in airports for days, but in general, please remember this: To help everyone cope, use lots of soap.
- Try to smell your best, but don’t douse yourself in perfume. A little goes a long way. When your plane is over the Atlantic, do you really want your Uber driver to still smell you?
- Don’t get drunk before your flight. It may be fun to drink at the airport, but nobody wants to sit next to a drunk passenger, especially if he’s in the window seat and keeps pointing out clouds that look like his ex-wives.
- Recline your seat gently. The person sitting behind you will appreciate it. To show their gratitude, they may even pull their foot back from your arm rest.
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Compiled and partly written by Indian humorist MELVIN DURAI, author of the novel Bala Takes the Plunge.
[Comments? Contributions? We would love to hear from you about Chai Time. If you have contributions, please email us at melvin@melvindurai.com. We welcome jokes, quotes, online clips, and more.]
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