Youth: What My Playlist Says About Who I Am
“What type of music do you listen to?” This may seem like a casual query, but for many Indian American youngsters, it triggers a dilemma about unspoken layers of belonging. As their music tastes span from Arijit to Drake, their choices may well become a parallel search for identity.
My Spotify Wrapped—an annual recap of a user’s listening history and habits—can’t seem to decide if it’s undergoing a heartbreak in Mumbai or partying on the streets of New York.
I may be self-aware, but when it comes to choosing music, I feel a sense of complexity crawling up my leg. For me, it’s not just a simple choice about genre or mood, but also about striking a proper cultural balance that remains true to who I am.
On a normal day, I head downstairs to the melodic sounds of sacred Hindu mantras flowing through the kitchen walls, which are then followed by the 1990s Bollywood classics playing on my mom’s phone. As soon as I step outside, I plug in my AirPods and enter a completely different world composed of pop and rap classics. The musical beats and lyrics, ranging from SZA to Drake, and conversations about them, continue to fill my eight hours of school.
This pattern has become my norm. I feel like I’m constantly switching back and forth among different frequencies—tuning in and out of music—and identities—depending on who I’m around. During the quiet hours in my house, Hindi classics soothe my ear, whereas during the rowdy hours of school, my headspace usually recites lyrics from songs such as “Snooze” alongside friends who wouldn’t recognize any Bollywood tune even if I played it on loop.
This back-and-forth used to confuse me; sometimes, it still itches the back of my brain. The simple act of listening to music then becomes an issue of identity: Am I “too Indian” for my friends or “too American” for my desi relatives? Would it be better to belong to a singular world—either Indian or American?
But over time, I’ve come to realize that, just like my playlist, my identity isn’t singular. It’s layered—like a remix, where two or more individual and unique tracks blend into something completely new. My taste in music is reflective of the type of person I am. It carries personality and history all in one playlist. My music carries both the cultures that are important to me.
When someone asks, “What type of music do you listen to?” my answer used to be “Indian” to desi relatives and “American” to classmates. Now, my answer has matured to a more honest admission of loving both kinds. Both speak to me deeply, and I’m not afraid to show either part of myself.
So maybe my playlists don’t curate into a single pattern—but neither does my identity nor my personality. I’ve stopped trying to mute one side to let the other play out louder. Instead, I let both of them overlap, harmonize, and clash if they need to. Because in the end, I’m not just listening to music; I’m listening to a playlist that speaks the twin language of both my roots and my lifestyle. It’s messy. It’s meaningful. And it’s mine.
Krisha Lakhani, a junior at Brookwood High School, loves music, expresses herself through several dance forms, and writes about her unique experiences in hopes of relating to a larger audience.
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