Letters from Readers
I appreciate your efforts to unveil a very disturbing problem in our community via your September cover story (“Hell in Your Own Home”). All the efforts of media, education, community programs, activists, etc., have only scratched the surface of the paramount issue of domestic violence. I believe we as a society have adopted the rule of the three wise monkeys: “I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no evil,” specifically when it comes to domestic violence/abuse, but somewhere along the way we have lost the true meaning of the proverb.
It seems as though the issue of domestic violence/abuse in our community has become normalized to some degree due to various factors. I sometimes wonder if acts such as belittling the wife, hitting her, yelling at her, cheating on her, putting her down, etc., are even considered abnormal by some. It always puzzles me when I overhear women justify all the various acts of abuse. As if that is not enough they continue to take pride in their ability to suffer and endure such treatment as though they are in competition to receive the medal of the “GREAT INDIAN NARI.”
No matter how “normalized” domestic violence/abuse has become in our community, or how much we want to “push it under the rug,” its effects are devastating for generations to come. Many research articles time and again have proved that when children observe and experience domestic violence/abuse they can develop an array of age-dependent negative effects in physical, behavioral, psychological, and social areas. Women who experience domestic violence/abuse may also suffer lifelong physical and psychological problems. Without interventions and change of attitude about abuse in our community we will continue to create generations of unhealthy individuals, relationships, and communities.
Women often stay and endure abusive relationships because of their children. I believe it is time we changed our attitude and stopped enduring any form of abuse because of the children. We are our children’s most influential teachers and we need to teach them life lessons that are not taught in any textbook. If we stay in an unhealthy relationship, then we are only teaching our sons to be abusive and our daughters to be submissive to abuse.
Georgia has taken a powerful stance to battle domestic violence and has launched many resources to help victims. There is a 24-hour statewide domestic violence hotline where anyone can call for help: 1-800-33- HAVEN (1-800-334-2836) and of course 911 is at anyone’s fingertips.
Beauty is not skin deep
We were all ruffled by the anti-Indian racist tweets when Nina Davuluri was crowned Miss America on September 15! Indian people, like people from other lands, have a distinctive beauty. In their native DNA, Indians carry the compelling code of their ancient motherland.
Nevertheless when someone stops me to question about the dubious demeanor of a fellow Indian, I, too, am uncomfortable in my brown skin. We all, irrespective of race, are human and sometimes errors occur unintentionally. But I do cringe when I have to defend a missed diagnosis, an unnecessary surgery, bad bedside manners, inappropriate behavior with patients or their family members, or irresponsible prescribing practices.
Fifty years ago the Indians who immigrated to the United States were literate, industrious professionals: scientists, engineers, doctors, and physicists. They led an exemplary righteous life and set the stage for us to be easily assimilated into the American society with ease.
We Indians by and large are committed to family life, excel in our professions, run philanthropic organizations and are emerging in the political arena. A few of us like any other ethnic group get caught up in instant gratification schemes and forget about the long-term consequences of momentary lapses in morality. I am deeply saddened by glib investment bankers/self-acclaimed financial planners who target their ethnic groups to steal their hard-earned money. Media trials of personal immorality and financial fraud are disheartening. We are a minority and we get noticed!
It is my humble request that we all examine our conduct at home, at work, in places of worship, and in the community so that no fingers are raised. We owe this to ourselves, to India, to America, and to our progeny. I want our children to walk proudly in their beautiful brown skin!Monita Soni, MD
What’s on YOUR mind?
We welcome original, unpublished letters from our readers. You could either respond to a specific article in Khabar or write about issues relevant to our community. Letters may be edited for length and other considerations. Longer submissions by readers may be considered for the “My Turn” column.
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Note: Views expressed in the Letters section do not necessarily represent those of the publication.
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